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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of scooby doo fun and games and other funny jokes |
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Hunting Joke
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, 'You skin this one while I go and get another!'
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Political Joke
Definition: Politics Poli (Poly): Many. . . . Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures
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Sport Joke
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! 'Damn. ' A bad skydiver goes, 'Damn. ' WHACK!
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Marriage Joke
A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $'1
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Mental health Joke
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. 'Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this. ' 'What's the problem?' the docotor inquired. 'Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away. ' 'My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you. ' The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. 'Did my advice not work?' asked the doctor. 'It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've e njoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women. ' 'So, what's your problem?' 'I don't have a problem, ' the man replied. 'My wife does. '
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Children Joke
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. 'Mommy, ' she said. 'Can we leave now?' 'No, ' her mother replied. 'Well, I think I have to throw up!' 'Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush. ' In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. 'Did you throw up?' her mother asked. 'Yes, ' the little girl replied. 'Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?' 'I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. ' the little girl replied. 'They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the sick'. '
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Father Joke
A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.
The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer she
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Situations Humor
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. 'Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?' Arnold asked. 'Not very likely, ' his wife said. 'It's worth a try, ' Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, 'Just a minute. I'll have to look for these. ' He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, 'Here they are!''No kidding?' Arnold called back. 'That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time. 'The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. 'They'll be ready Thursday, ' he said calmly.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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