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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of scary video jokes and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. Whilefishing, the old man starts talking about how times havechanged. The young man picks up on this and starts talkingabout the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, 'Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problemswith all these diseases when you were young did they?'Grandpa replies, 'Nope. 'Teen says, 'Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?'Grandpa replies, 'A wedding ring. '
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
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Travel and tourist Joke
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts. ' Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. ' Her response. . . click.
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Relationships Joke
Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you. ' The wife simply sighed and replied, 'Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice. '
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Miscellaneous Joke
There was a blonde, a red head, and a brunette and they were all up in space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two. . . The red head said, 'I am going to be the first woman to land on mars. ' The brunette said, 'I can beat that, I'll be the first woman to land on saturn. ' The blonde said, 'I'll beat both of you, I'll be the first woman to land on the sun. ' 'How are you going to do that', the other two asked. 'Simple', said the blonde. 'I'll go at night!'
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Weather Joke
Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. 'It was the most amazing thing . . . it was the most amazing thing. ' she kept repeating dazedly. 'What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?' asked one of the rescuers. 'I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away. '
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
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Dumb Joke
How Dogs and Men Are the Same 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning 3. Both mark their territory 4. Neither tells you what's bothering them 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous 6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches 7. Neither does any dishes 8. Both fart shamelessly 9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut 10. Both like dominance games 11. Both are suspicious of the postman 12. Neither understands what you see in cats How Dogs Are Better Than Men 1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public 2. Dogs miss you when you're gone 3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong 4. Dogs admit when they're jealous 5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out 6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw. ) 7. You can train a dog 8. Dogs are easy to buy for 9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you). 10. Dogs understand what 'no' means. 11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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