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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of sbt fun and other funny jokes |
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Military Joke
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something shehasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adultvideo. She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so shecalls the video store to complain. 'I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tapebut static, ' she says. 'Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Whichtitle did you rent?' the clerk replies. 'Head Cleaner, ' Mary replies.
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Bird Joke
Q: Why did the chicken say, 'Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?' A: He was studying foreign languages.
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Answer me this Joke
If the world is getting smaller, why do postal rates keep going up?
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Joke for Kids
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. 'Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?'His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, 'I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned. 'The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, 'Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?' His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, 'Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would. 'Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, 'Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?' His sister looks up and says, 'Omigod! Definitely!'The kid goes back to his father and says, 'Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with a couple of whores. '
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Military Joke
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. 'Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ' declared one, 'that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ''Very good, ' conceded the other, 'but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle. ''What was the jingle?' asked the first. 'Oh, ' replied the other offhand, 'just our medals. '
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Romance Joke
TOP15. Some of the myths about marriage. . . Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me. ' The husband says: 'WHAT??' The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond ear rings. His wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says: 'But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it. ' The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says: 'I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. ' The husband says: 'No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff. ' The wife's face goes blank. 'No honey. I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. ' Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the Husband says: 'You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man!!!' TECHNOLOGY FOR THE COUNTRY FOLK What high-tech lingo becomes once it goes north of the Oregon-California border. LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's blak fly season BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the munchie bag MODEM: Whacha did to the hay fields DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine ENTER: Northerner talk fer, C'Mon in y'all RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
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Computer Joke
A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer--the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace - was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a 'window' to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later if it might be all right to close the window. Why, the IBM technician asked. Because, the caller responded, it was getting very chilly.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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