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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of santa jokes for kids and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.
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Law Joke
A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. 'You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?'
'Objection, your honor,' shouted the other lawyer.
There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.
'So,' the first lawyer continued, 'Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?'
'Nothing,' said the witness. 'No one was home. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Blanche ! Blanche who ? Blanche not !
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Medical Joke
The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. 'Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you. ' The woman said, 'I'm glad to hear that doctor, but I'm Miss Brown, not Mrs. ' 'Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown, ' said the doctor without changing expression, 'I have some bad news for you. '
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Funny College Joke
RULES MEN WISH WOMEN KNEW:If you think you're ugly, you probably are. Don't ask us. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down. Don't cut your hair. For any reason. Ever. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Sometimes we're NOT thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as wax worms vs. grubs, the shotgun formation and carburetors. ANYTHING you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. Ask us for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. No, we DON'T know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries and birthdays on a calendar. Yes, whizzing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point-blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. 'Yes' and 'No' ARE perfectly acceptable answers. A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor. Check your oil. Don't give us rules. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become 'null' and void anfter 2 days. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. Women wearing low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
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School Joke
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, 'Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude. . . ?'
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, 'I guess you'd be eating alone. '
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.
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Horse Joke
What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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