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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of rude txt jokes and other funny jokes |
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Birthday Joke
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
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Funny Kids Joke
Why was the centipede late?Because he was playing 'This little Piggy' with his baby brother!What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?A walkie talkie!What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?A centipede with chilblains!What has 50 legs but cant walk?Half a centipede!What do you call a guard with 100 legs?A sentrypede!What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?Enough drumsticks to feed an army!What did one centipede say to the other centipede?You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs . . . . !Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?He took too long to put his boots on!What is worse than an alligator with toothache?A centipede with athlete's foot!What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?A centipede with a wooden leg!
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School Joke
Teacher: In music, if 'f' means 'forte', what does 'ff' mean ? Pupil: Eighty
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Monster Joke
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert? Bumpkin pie!
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Internet Joke
What did Darth Vader say to the Internet? May the force e-with you.
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Medicine Joke
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?Patient: What problem?
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Dentist Joke
What do you call a dentist in the army ? A drill sergeant !
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Apple Joke
What's the difference between a worm and an apple ? Have you ever tried worm pie ?!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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