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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of rude text jokes and other funny jokes |
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Police Joke
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street. A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance. When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, 'My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm. '
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Father Joke
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching. '
Moving further along the lunc
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Gender Joke
How do men exercise at the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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Great Joke
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. 'Yes, ' he said. 'I do. My father taught me. ' 'Good. What comes after three. ' 'Four, ' answers the boy. 'What comes after six?' 'Seven. ''Very good, ' says the teacher. 'Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?''A Jack. '
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Children Joke
Mum, ' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear, what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over. '
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Ethnical Joke
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, 'Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?'The Saudi says, 'What's a shortage?'The Russian says, 'What's meat?'The North Korean says, 'What's an opinion?'The New Yorker, says, 'Excuse me?? What's excuse me?'
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Military Joke
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, 'How'd you learn to shoot like that ? Have you ever been in combat before?' 'Well suh, ' drawled the boy, 'To be honest, this is my first public war. '
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Joke of the Day
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, 'Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?' To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No, I won't sleep with you tonight!' Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, 'I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. ' To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, 'What do you mean $200!!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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