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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of rude scottish jokes and other funny jokes |
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Christmas Joke - 2
Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !
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School Joke
A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. 'In English, ' he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative. ' A voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right. '
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Humorous Joke
5-year-old Nicholas was sitting on a department store Santa's lap and told him, 'My name's the same as yours. 'Santa's helper blows his cover when he says, 'Well, hello, Harold!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Castro ! Castro who ? Castro bread upon the waters !
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Dirty Joke
A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, 'I'm going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam. ' The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, 'Not big enough. ' She brings out a bigger one. He says, 'Still not big enough. ' She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, 'Still not big enough. ' She says, 'Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?'
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College Humor
There were these three models going by air to a photo shoot, Elle Mcpherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell. Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they went down. Elle put on more make-up saying, 'They always rescued the beautiful ones first'. Cindy donned her jewelery claiming, 'They would rescue the richest one first', upon which Naomi, threw off all her clothes, pressing herself against the window saying 'You're both wrong, the first thing they look for is the Black Box'!
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Miscellaneous Joke
Why did God give Mexicans a nose?So they'd have something to pick in the off season!
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Relationships Joke
The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, 'It's my turn. ' 'What do you mean, your turn?' yelled the husband. 'In bed, ' she explained, 'you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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