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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of rotastak fairground fun and other funny jokes |
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Various animal Joke
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Policeman: I am sorry to have to tell you this Mr Brown, but you wife has just fallen into the wishing well and drowned.
Mr Brown: It works!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'm a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Keep honking I'm reloading.
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Miscellaneous Joke
1. Cannot find REALITY. SYS. Universe halted. 2. COFFEE. EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of2. 5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN10. -{----- The information went data way --------[11. Best file compression around: 'DEL . ' = 100% compression12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. 13. BREAKFAST. COM Halted. . . Cereal Port Not Responding14. The name is Baud. . . . . . , James Baud. 15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay. . 19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. 21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups. 23. E Pluribus Modem24. . . . File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. 27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. 28. CONGRESS. SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D. C. (Y/n)?29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. 31. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium. 32. 24 hours in a day. . . 24 beers in a case. . . coincidence?33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. 34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 35. SENILE. COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . 36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. 38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure. 39. Shell to DOS. . . Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS. . . 40. All computers wait at the same speed. 41. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors. 42. Go ahead, make my data!43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. . . . . 44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. . . 45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. 47. Help! I'm modeming. . . and I can't hang up!!!48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody. ' - Bill Gates, 198151. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS. SYS to CONFIG. SYS52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG. SYS53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. . . 54. Press any key. . . . . . no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!55. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue . . .
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Book title Joke
The Modern Police Force by Iris Tew
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Food Joke
Why can't you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!
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Food and Drink Joke
Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.
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Fishing Joke
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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