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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of rhyl fun fair and other funny jokes |
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Free Adult Joke
A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender replies 'I'm sorry, We don't serve strings'The string, angry, runs to the bathroom and ties himself up into knots until his ends are frayed. Then he walks back out and asks the bartender for a drink. 'Hey, aren't you the string I just talked to?' The bartender asks. 'Nope, ' Says the string, 'I'm afraid not. ' (a frayed knot)
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Joke Online
The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, 'Jesus Christ!' as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, 'GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!'Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, 'Mother trucker, ' or 'Mother's from there. ' Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.
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Religion Joke
Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent 'Easy Reading' to the original script. All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, 'An 'R'! They left out the 'R'. ' God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, 'It's the letter 'R' . . . the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!'
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Weirdest Joke
Why do men fart more than women?Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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Mad Joke
A Columbia Doctor's secretary called an old farmer out my way and said: 'Your check came back. 'The old man replied, 'So did my arthritis!'
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Love and Marriage Joke
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, 'I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two. ' Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, 'I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us. '
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Various animal Joke
Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !
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Dieting Joke
I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME.
Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!!
THOSE WHO GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES, WILL BE EXPOSED IN THE END.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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