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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of retirement jokes quotes and other funny jokes |
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Weirdest Joke
How are men like noodles?They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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Politics Humor
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the HouseGingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in acar together in Kansas. A tornado comes along andwhirls them up into the air and tosses them thousandsof yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from thevehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. TheWizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, 'I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain. ' Gingrich responds, 'I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart. ' Clinton speaks up, 'Where's Dorothy?'
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Religious Joke
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. 'Paddy, ' he said, ' I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day. ' 'Really, Father?' slurred Paddy. 'What have you done?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Nadia.
Nadia who?
Just Nadia head if you understand what I'm saying.
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Space Joke
What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.
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Mother Joke
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my haemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Mom
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel.
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Funny Famous Joke
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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