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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of really rude jokes and other funny jokes |
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Easy to Remember Joke
Good girls say ' thanks for a wonderful dinner'. . . Bad girls say, ' what's for breakfast?'Good girls never go after another girl's man. . . Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white cotton pantiesBad girls don't wear any. Good girls wax their floors. . . Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hotBad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls make chicken for dinner. . . Bad girls make reservationsGood girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies. . . Bad girls know they could do betterGood girls never consider sleeping with the boss. . . Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich. Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. . . Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls. . . Good girls love Italian food. . . Bad girls love Italian waiters.
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Naughty Joke
Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in one tent while the wives used the other. At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, 'Wow, unbelievable!'Which woke Ed. 'What's going on?' said Ed. 'I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife. ' said Ted. 'How come?' said Ed. 'To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in mylife!' said TedAfter a pause, Ed said, 'Do you want me to come with you?''Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?' said Ted. 'Because that's my dick you're holding, ' said Ed.
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Blonde Joke - 1
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the 'Vacant' sign up?
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Totally Weird Joke
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, 'I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm. ' The other cow replies, 'Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks!'
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Dog Joke - 2
What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store.
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Funny College Joke
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: 'Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?' And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: 'Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?' The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: 'I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit. '
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute? It opens on impact.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'm feeling uppity
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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