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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of printable fun quizzes and other funny jokes |
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Funniest Joke
A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?'The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying 'Ehhhh. . . 22!'The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?'The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces 'Five foot two!'This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. 'Just to confirm for our records, your name please?'The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying 'MANDY!'The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks -'What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?''Ohhhh, that!' replies the airhead. . . ' I was just running through that song -'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear. . . ' '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
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Friendship Joke
A strained voice called out through the darkenedtheater, 'Please, is there a doctor in the house?!' Several men stood up as the lights came on. An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, 'Good, are any of you doctors single and interested ina date with a good, Jewish girl?'
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Love and Marriage Joke
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. 'Steve, ' his wife said, while reading the newspaper, 'it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers. 'To which the husband replies, 'Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone. '
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Horse Joke
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the saloon's regulars had a habit of picking on strangers. When the cowboy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. 'Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?' he yelled forcefully. No one answered. 'All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don't want to have to do what I done in Texas!' Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy, true to his word, had another beer and walked outside, to find that his horse has been returned to its post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the cowboy out of the bar. 'Say, partner, before you go,' the bartender asked nervously, 'what happened in Texas?' The cowboy turned back and said, ' I had to walk home. '
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Children Joke
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages. 'Mommy, look what I found, ' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: 'It's Adam's clothes!!!!!'
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. When the Sudanese government showed an interest in buying two Russian transport planes to ferry supplies to famine-ridden ares in the south, the acting Soviet ambassador allowed the Sudanese to test-fly the aircraft. They flew to rebel-held Yirol and bombed the city, pushing bombs out of the cargo doors.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Stupify
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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