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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of preschool fun and other funny jokes |
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Military Joke
The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they're stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.
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Dog Joke - 2
Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for a grape? He was colour-blind.
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Lawyer Joke
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. 'I can arrange some things for you, ' the devil said. 'I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity. 'The lawyer thought for a moment. 'What's the catch?' he asked.
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Golf Joke
I had a jehovess witness come to the door the other day, i let him in I said sit ya'self down boy. Im making a cup of tea and ham sandwiches would you like some? He replied oh yes please. Right I said ill be back in a couple of minutes I came back with the tea and sandwiches, and said right Sir what would you like too talk about? I carn't remember Iv'e never got this far before!!!
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Blonde Joke - 1
What do a blonde and a screen door have in common? The more you bang them the looser they get. What is the difference inbetween a blonde and a brick? The brick only gets layed once. What do a blonde and spaghetti have in common? The more you eat them the more they wiggle.
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Mad Joke
by : Scott Corliss 1. The Communist Manifesto as read by Ronald Reagan 2. The Torah as read by Louis Farrakhan 3. The Koran as read by Sammy Davis Junior 4. The Bible as read by Madeleine Murray O'Hare 5. Walden as read by James Watt 6. The Anarchist's Cookbook as read by Theodore Kaczinsky 7. How To win Friends and Influence People as read by Dennis Rodman 8. Europe on $10 a Day as read by Steve Forbes 9. The Godfather as read by John Gotti 10. Mr. Boston's Bar Guide as read by Ted Kennedy 11. Heather has 2 Mommies as read by Jesse Helms 12. The Diary of Anne Frank as read by Jesse Jackson 13. The Physician's Desk Reference as read by Dr. Jack Kevorkian 14. Catcher in the Rye as read by Mark Chapman 15. Uncle Tom's Cabin as read by George Wallace 17. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus as read by 2 Live Crew 18. The Cat in the Hat as read by BF Skinner 19. Where the Wild Things Are as read by Michael Jackson 20. A Rumor of War as read by Bill Clinton 21. Presumed Innocent as read by OJ Simpson 22. The Joy of Cooking as read by Karen Carpenter 23. Bridges of Madison County as read by Howard Stern 24. I'm Ok You're Ok as read by Rush Limbaugh 25. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test as read by Bill Bennett 26. No One Gets Out of Here Alive as read by Kurt Cobain 27. Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail as read by Richard Nixon 28. Moby Dick as read by Jonah 29. The Pledge of Allegiance as read by Mahmud Abdul Rauf 30. Fear of Flying as read by Ron Brown 31. Thirty Days to a Stronger Vocabulary by Homer J. Simpson 32. Success for Dummies as read by Ross Perot
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Kids Puns
A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough!'The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, 'If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
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Computer Joke
A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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