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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of poopie jokes and other funny jokes |
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Answer me this Joke
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
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Marriage Joke
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said 'I want to know the person you hate the most' The explorer said 'That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?' 'I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount. ' 'OK, I wish for a billion dollars' 'Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion' 'I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything' 'Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish' The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said 'Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death. '
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Christmas Joke - 2
What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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Instrument Joke
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, 'Where are we?'Rachmaninov said, 'Carnegie Hall, sir!'
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Elephant Joke
Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
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Joke for Holidays
A guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an incredible set of jugs. He says, 'Give me two pickets to Titsburgh. . . umm. . . I mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh'. He's really embarrassed. . . The guy in line behind him says, 'Relax, pal. We all make Freudian slips like that. Just the other day at the breakfast table I meant to say to my wife, `Please pass the sugar
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Bird Joke
What is a polygon ? A dead parrot !
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. 'Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them, ' instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. 'But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear, ' she protested. 'Then, ' said the attorney, 'just whisper them to the judge. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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