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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of pony fun and other funny jokes |
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Instrument Joke
When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts of the Lucia sextet during rehearsal. Afterwards, one musician was overheard whispering to the other, impressed, 'Well, this kid really knows his stuff!'The other replied, 'I don't think he is so hot. Did you notice how flat his high E was at the end?'
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Movie and TV Joke
What kind of star wears sunglasses? A movie star.
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Various animal Joke
What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !
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Joke for Halloween
A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work toappear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day. 'WHAT FOR?!?!?' he snapped at the judge. The Judge, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: 'Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!'Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:'That's all right. You don't have to pay now. 'The guy replied. . . 'I know - I'm just seeing if I have enough for 2 more words!'
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Aardvark Joke
What do you call an aardvark That's just won a fight? A well 'aardvark!
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Law Enforcement Joke
Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him 'Judge Dredd', and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the 'good cop', and the other half is the 'bad cop'. 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
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Joke for Kids
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, an hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, 'So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?'The pirate replies 'We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept over board into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off. ''Wow!' said the seaman. 'What about your hook'?'Well. . . ', replied the pirate, 'We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords when one of the enemy cut my hand off. ''Incredible!' remarked the seaman. 'How did you get the eye patch'?'A seagull dropping fell into my eye. ', replied the pirate. 'You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?' the sailor asked increduously. 'Well. . . ', said the pirate, '. . it was also my first day with the hook. '
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Telephone Joke
What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ? A wedding ring !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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