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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of play roulette for fun and other funny jokes |
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Law Joke
Noticing they were having engine trouble, the pilot instructed the crew to have the passengers take their seats and prepare for an emergency landing. A few moments later, the pilot asked the attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
'We're all set back here, Captain,' an attendant replied. 'Except for one criminal lawyer who is still going around passing out his business cards. '
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Relationships Joke
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. Finally David, his playing partner, asked, 'Why on Earth are you takingso long to make this shot?''My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make this shot a good one, ' said Bob. 'Good Lord, ' said David, 'you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here. '
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Kids Puns
What is a frogs favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!
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Bumper Stickers - 7
The princess is in.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. 'Well, ' says the doctor, 'I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. ''Oh, no. ' the woman replies. 'I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back. 'The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, 'There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear. ''That's what I want!' exclaims the lady. 'Let's do that. ' Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. 'Well, how's the procedure holding up?' the doctor asks. 'Terrible!' the lady bellows. 'It's the worst mistake I've ever made. ''What's wrong?' asks the doctor. 'Just look at these bags under my eyes!' she hollers. 'Lady, ' the doctor reports, 'those aren't bags, those are your boobs, and if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!'
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Sad Joke
Your mom is so fat, I can get morning exercise by running around here!
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Very Silly Joke
A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon when the young Japanese bride crawled out of the bed after making love and she stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes and she let a big fart. She looked up and said: 'Scuse prease, front hole so happy back hole whistle!'
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Joke for Dummies
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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