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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of planet fun kings hall and other funny jokes |
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Golf Joke
Three duffers were out golfing with the club pro one day. The first duffer teed off and hit a dribbler about 60 yards. He turned to the pro and asked, 'What did I do wrong?'The pro replied, 'Loft. 'The next golfer teed off and duck hooked the ball into the woods. He asked the pro the same question. The pro again answered, 'Loft. 'The third teed off and sliced into a pond. He too asked the pro, 'What did I do wrong?'Again, 'Loft. 'As they were walking down the fairway, the first duffer finally spoke up to the pro. 'All three of us hit completely different tee shots and yet when we asked you what we did wrong, you gave the same exact answer every time. So what does Loft mean?'The pro shook his head and said, 'Lack of Friggin' Talent!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! B-2 ! B-2 who ? B-2 school on time !
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Horse Joke
What is the slowest racehorse in the world ? A clotheshorse !
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Military Joke
I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control center that was surrounded by several Minuteman II silos. The facility and the silos were separated by several miles. We were not allowed to leave the 'capsule' until relieved the next day, and we were supported by several on-site personnel in the support building upstairs. The capsules were Spartan, but each boasted a small refrigerator and a small microwave. On one tour of duty, the cook called down around lunch time and informed us that she was cleaning her oven and that hot food would be unavailable for a short time. Later, around supper time, she called down again and apologized that she had dismantled her oven to clean it, was having trouble reassembling it, and would again be unable to heat our food orders. We were somewhat annoyed, but, being the kinder, gent ler military officers we were, told her 'No problem. Just send down the frozen meals and we'll 'nuke' them ourselves. ' Several seconds of dead silence on the phone followed before she whispered, 'You can DO that?' :
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Animal World
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? Eight beers.
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Burger Joke
When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency? When the chips are down!
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Dog Joke - 2
When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house ? When the door is open !
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Accountant Joke
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ? A: None-just assume it's changed.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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