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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of phone text jokes and other funny jokes |
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Comedy Joke
At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, 'On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p. m. , in the locale known generally as ' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?' 'Yes, ' whispered the girl, her head bowed. 'And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?' the lawyer continued. 'Oh no, ' she replied, 'I'm pretty sure. . . he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis. '
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Children Joke
Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of their voices. Eventually one of the neighbours threw open his window and shouted down at them 'Hey, less noise!, don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning!'
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Ethnic Humor
Armando went to his neighbor and asked, 'Hey Carlos, do you like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way out?' 'No, ' says Carlos. Armando asks, 'Do you like a woman whose teets hang almost to her knees?' 'No, ' says Carlos. 'Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so mucho grande?' 'Caramba! No, amigo!' Carlos replied. 'Theen tell me why, ' asked Armando, 'do you keep screwing my wife?'
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Easter Joke
Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!
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Answer me this Joke
How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders ?
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Elephant Joke
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ? A get wellephant !
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Monster Joke
How do you stop a monster from smelling? Cut off his nose.
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Computers Joke
A Synopsis of the Microsoft Car At a recent computer expo (Comdex), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25. 00 cars that get 100 miles to the gallon. ' Recently, General Motors addresses this comment by releasing this statement, 'yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?' Below is a synopsis of the Microsoft Car: Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. for some strange reason, you would accept this too. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT'. But then you would have to buy more seats. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times faster, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades for their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. The oil, gas and alternator lights would be replaced with single 'general car fault' lights. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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