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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of phone prank jokes and other funny jokes |
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Computer Joke
There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this 'unusual' handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy said, 'Now that you mention it, you have no ears. ' The man got really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy also noticed, 'Yes, you have no ears. ' The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out. Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy replied 'Yeah, I bet you are wearing contact lenses. ' Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?' The guy burst out laughing and said you can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.
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Political Joke
When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear annihilation. When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan had nothing to do with it. Because if that fool Reagan was right all along. . . . . . what kind of fool am I?
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Medical Joke
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, 'Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have badnews and goodnews. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, andwill need helpeating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life. 'Harry says, 'My God. What's the good news?'The doctor says, 'I'm kidding. She's dead. '
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Funny Famous Joke
One day this Blonde walked into her doctors office. 'Doctor, Doctor I'm having these awlful pains in my back. ''Well let me take a look. 'When the doctor looked he had a look of suprise on his face. 'This is amazing. 'What is is doctor?''I didn't know that the new Toyotas had ribbed leather rear seating!'
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Blonde Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine? A: She demanded $'200
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Ethnic Joke - 1
The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: 'We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend. ' 'Why of course, ' the Lieutenant answers. 'Just one thing, ' says the lady. 'Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there. ' 'Why of course, ' the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. 'Why, why, there must be some mistake, ' she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. 'Why heck no, ma'am, ' he replies. 'Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!'
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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