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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of phone fun shop and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Why drink and drive, when you can smoke and fly.
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Sad Joke
You Might Be A Redneck. . . . . . If your dad walks u to school 'cause you're in the same grade! . . . If u mow the grass and find the car! . . . If someone comes to your house everyday thinking you're having a garage sale! . . . If u sell the car 4 gas money!
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Joke for Speeches
Less Common Latin PhrasesQuo signo nata es?What's your sign?Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt. You know, the Romans invented the art of love. O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!Spero nos familiares mansuros. I hope we'll still be friends. Mellita, domi adsum. Honey, I'm home. Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio. I am as dead as the nehru jacket. Ventis secundis, tene cursum. Go with the flow. Totum dependeat. Let it all hang out. Te precor dulcissime supplex!Pretty please with a cherry on top!Magister Mundi sum!I am the Master of the Universe!Fac me cocleario vomere!Gag me with a spoon!Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?Prehende uxorem meam, sis!Take my wife, please!Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?Nihil est-in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui. That's nothing-in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor. Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est. Yes, that is a very large amount of corn. Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business. Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!I forgot to polish the clocks!Vescere bracis meis. Eat my shorts. Sic faciunt omnes. Everyone is doing it. Vacca foedaStupid cowFac ut vivas. Get a life. Raptus regaliterRoyally screwedAnulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!Let's all wear mood rings!Insula GilliganisGilligan's Island
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Pig Joke
All our pigs are learning karate. Oh, I don't believe that No? Well, just watch out for their chops.
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Free Adult Joke
Did you know that the inventor of sprinklers was racist?Yeah, listen to one next time you get a chance, It goes - spic. . . . spic. . . . spic. . . . nigga. . . nigga. . . nigga. . . nigga. . . . . . . . . chink!
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Lawyer Joke
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. 'My name is Billy. What's yours?' asked the first boy. 'Tommy, ' replied the second. 'My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?' asked Billy. Tommy replied, 'My Daddy's a lawyer. ' 'Honest?' asked Billy. 'No, just the regular kind', replied Tommy.
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Easy to Remember Joke
Patient: Doctor, ya gotta help me. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm. Doctor: Really! What are you taking for it? Patient (with a grin): Black pepper!
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Children Joke
Did you hear about the boy who was known as Fog ? He was dense and wet !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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