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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of personalised fun present and other funny jokes |
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Stand Up Joke
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:George: 'I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years'Herman: 'Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days'George: '*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???'Herman: 'Yeah, it was a lawyer. '
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Easy to Remember Joke
1. Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one. 2. Golfer: 'Well, I have never played this badly before!' Caddy: 'I didn't realize you had played before, sir!'3. Golfer: 'My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!' Caddy: 'I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!'4. Golfer: 'Well caddy, do you like my game?' Caddy: 'Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf. '
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Village Idiot Joke
What did the elephant say to the naked man? 'It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Artichoke ! Artichoke who ! Artichoke when he swallowed his yo-yo !
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Sad Joke
A zebra dies goes to heaven. When checking in, he tells St. Peter, 'Say, I have always wanted to know if I am white with black stripes or black with white stripes. 'St. Peter, 'I can't answer that question. . . but see God walking around over there? Ask him. ' Zebra to God, 'God, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?'God looks at the zebra sagely and states, 'You are what you are. 'Frustrated, the zebra returns to St. Peter. What did He say, ' asks S. P. 'Oh, , ' replies the zebra. 'He just said, 'You are what you are, ' and I still don't know whether I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes. ''Oh, that's easy, ' says S. P. 'You are white with black stripes. ''How do you know?' asks the zebra. 'Well, ' says S. P. , 'if you were black with white stripes he would have said 'you is what you is. ''
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Love and Marriage Joke
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom.
I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!'
His buddy looks at him and says, 'Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' . . . . and she's always sound asleep. '
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Satire Joke
What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigre surgeon?He sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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