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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of orthopaedic jokes and other funny jokes |
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Practical Joke
You're so tired you now answer the phone, 'Hell. ' Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, jerk!' Your garbage can IS your 'in' box. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care. You have so much on your mind, you've forget often how to think. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through . . . er. . . . Monday. You sleep more at work than at home. You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?
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Golf Joke
A professional golfer had been employed in the industry for over 30yrs and had lost the drive and desire for the game. he admitted to his closest friend that he had always wanted to be a monk and with that he joined a local order.
The chief abbot explained to him that this was a silent order and he would only be allowed to speak when he saw him in seven years time. After seven years the chief abbot asked him how he was and he replied okay but could he have a blanket as it got very cold on the stone floor in the winter. A further seven years passed and the chief abbot called him in to see how he was settling in, he replied okay and he was pleased with the blanket but could he have some new slippers as his others had worn out. armed with his new slippers off he went. On the anniversary of 21yrs in the silent order he went in to see the the chief abbot and said he thought he really wasn't cut out for this sort of life and he would like to leave, well my son said the chief abbott i'me glad you've made that desicion because ever since you have been here you done nothing but moan and winge!
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Father Joke
After teaching high school for nearly 20 years, I thought I'd heard every possible excuse for missing homework until one parent sent me this note: 'Please excuse Lori for not having her algebra homework. The cat had kittens on it last night. '
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Naughty Joke
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said 'Please give me aprescription for the Pill. ''I don't think you need the Pill at your age. ''It relaxes me. ''But you know the 'purpose' of the Pill. It's not forrelaxing, ' exclaimed the physician. 'I know, ' said Mrs Ogden, 'but my daughter dates, and everymorning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feelmore relaxed.
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Redneck Joke
Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.
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Lawyer Joke
What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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