|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of opus comedy club and other funny jokes |
|
Monster Joke
What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger? The bogeyman.
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Speeches
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness!Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis. Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Both of them. Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare. Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ``Fabulous. 'Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford?Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man. Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb? A: ``Twelve. Ya got a problem with dat?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Music Joke
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.
= = = = = = = = = =
Bible Joke
God created the donkey & said to him : ' You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. ' The donkey answered: ' I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: 'You will be a dog. ' You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. ' The dog answered: ' Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: ' You will be a monkey. ' You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. ' The monkey answered: ' Sir, to live 20 years is too much , you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. Finally God created the man and said to him: ' You will be a man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. ' You will use your intelligence to become master over all animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years. Man responded: ' Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused. God granted his wish. And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, he marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are gone, he lives 15 years like a dog, taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house, from one son or daughter to another, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
= = = = = = = = = =
School Joke
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
= = = = = = = = = =
Simple Joke
A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, 'Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours?Other guy: 'Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest tits in the world was there. So, instead of saying 'I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh
= = = = = = = = = =
Fishing Joke
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. 'You aren't going to catch many fish that way, ' said the businessman to the fisherman, 'you should be working rather than lying on the beach!' The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, 'And what will my reward be?' 'Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!' was the businessman's answer. 'And then what will my reward be?' asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, 'You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!' 'And then what will my reward be?' asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. 'You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!' he said. 'And then what will my reward be?' repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. 'Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!' Once again the fisherman asked, 'And then what will my reward be?' The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, 'Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your day s sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!' The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, 'And what do you think I'm doing right now?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Computer Joke
Customer: 'Wait, that password looks really gray. I'm going to type it in again. '
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
