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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of oliver strange and other funny jokes |
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Halloween Joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ? It was for 'tick or tweet' !
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Born to Shop
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Humor Joke
A girl walked over to her neighbor's for her morning chat session. When she got there, her neighbor remarked how tired she looked. 'Yeah' she said, 'I didn't sleep well last night, I had this really strange dream. ' 'Do tell' said her neighbor, pouring the coffee. 'Well, I dreamed I woke up and went downstairs as usual, but when I looked in the mirror my face had turned orange, and my hair was sticking straight up out of my head and was green!' 'Sounds like you turned into a punk rocker or something' the neighbor said, with a grin. 'No' she said, 'It wasn't like that. It was as if I knew something was wrong, but it seemed normal somehow, you know what I mean?' 'Sure' said the neighbor, 'Everybody's had dreams like that. ' 'Well anyway' she continued, 'I decided to go down and get the mail, because even in my dream, I figured I must be dreaming, so what the heck if I was orange, you know? So I walk down and get my mail, and I keep feeling everybody looking at me! 'Then I get a good look at myself in the big window in front of the store, and I'll be darned if I wasn't a carrot! It was such a shock I stumbled backwards and got hit by a truck driven by that nice doctor down the street. The last thing I remember before I woke up was him bending over me, telling me his diagnosis. ' 'Wow' laughed the neighbor, 'Did you live?' 'Yeah, I lived' sighed the girl, 'But the doctor said I'd be a vegetable the rest of my life. '
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Ant Joke
Where do ants go for their holidays ? Frants !
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Boise ! Boise who ? Boise ivy !
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Joke for Halloween
A young lady is in the hospital for an operation. She says, 'Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?'He says, 'You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!'
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Assorted Joke
A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, 'Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?' Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, 'Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!'
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Cow Joke
What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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