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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of oldbury fun run and other funny jokes |
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Village Idiot Joke
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, 'What's this, Paw?' The father responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!' While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, 'Go get your maw!'
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Easy to Remember Joke
Don't steal. . . The government doesn't like competition!
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Aviation Joke
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, 'How long does it take to fly to Boston?' The clerk said, 'Just a minute. . . ' 'Thank you, ' the man said and hung up.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Could You Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your Ass?
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Car and train Joke
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: 'Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro. ' 'What do you mean it's illegal?' asked the Englishmen. 'Quattro means four, ' replies the Italian official. 'Quattro is just the name of the automobile, ' the Englishmen says disbelievingly. 'Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons. ' 'You can'ta pulla thata one ona me, ' replies the Italian customs agent. 'Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakin'a the law'. The Englishmen reply angrily, 'You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!' 'Sorry, ' responds the Italian official, 'he can'ta come'. 'He's a busy with two guys in a Uno'.
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Cat Joke
Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. 'Whoa, Sam!' said the bartender. 'Who gave those beauties to you?' 'Nobody gave them to me, ' said Sam. 'I had to fight like crazy for both of them. '
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Joke for Kids
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and adozen donuts.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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