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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of oil drain pan and other funny jokes |
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Miscellaneous Joke
10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places. 9. Instead of an air bag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel. 8. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped. 7. The 15 minute JiffyLube needs to keep your car for 3 days. 6. When you gas up, the attendant asks, 'Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?'5. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal 'The Club. '4. While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt. 3. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making 'vroom, vroom' noises while in the driveway. 2. You keep losing dates on left turns. 1. Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
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Common Joke
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, 'Wow, these seats are big!' The person next to him answered, 'Everything is big in Texas. ' When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, 'Wow these mugs are big!' The bartender replied, 'Everything is big in Texas. ' After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, 'Second door to the right. ' The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, 'Don't flush, don't flush!'
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Joke for Speeches
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 'You can change those things?!'
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Police Joke
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. 'This guy must have screwed up the settings, ' the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: Each for not wearing a seat belt!
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Dumb Men Joke
Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office? They do it right first time.
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Aviation Joke
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number '293
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School Joke for Kids
Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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