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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of oceans of fun and other funny jokes |
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Sad Joke
1. You can name everyone you graduated with2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home3. You know what 4-H is4. You ever went to 'headlight parties'5. You used to drag 'main'6. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't8. You ever went cow-tipping9. You have ever partied with a guy who is '25
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Religious Joke
There's this cathedral That's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a 'cage elevator' inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these 'cage elevators' is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be 'called' to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling up to the heavens: 'Peter! CLOSE THE GATES!!!'
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School Joke
One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. 'Why are you dressed like that?' I asked her.
'I told my son,' she explained, 'that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!'
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Firefighter Joke
Q. What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ? A. FireWeb . . . . of course!
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Great Joke
Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny. 'How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?'He replies 'Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o. k. ' His father says 'That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?'Johnny answers 'Well, so far, we've been lucky. . . '
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Doctor Joke
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?Nurse: No change yet.
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At Work Joke
So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer -- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.
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Travel and tourist Joke
On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. 'I hope this spaceship doesn't travel faster than sound. 'Why?' replies the cabin steward. 'Because my friend and I want to talk, That's why. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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