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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of oboe jokes and other funny jokes |
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Crazy Joke
Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most?A: Fry-day!Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?A: It eggs-plodes!Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?A: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be!Q: Is chicken soup good for your health?A: Not if you're the chicken!Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get to the other side!Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?A: 'You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!' Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!Q: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?A: Because he didn't have enough guts!Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?A: To get to the other slide!
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Medical Joke
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was ittrue, the woman wanted to know, that the medication thedoctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life?She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS. ''
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Parent Joke
A man speaks frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!' 'Is this her first child?' the doctor queries. 'No, you idiot!' the man shouts. 'This is her *husband*!'
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Situations Humor
A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a longflight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks ifhe would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, sohe politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lottafun. He explains 'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5. ' Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get tosleep. The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, 'OK, if you don't knowthe answer you pay me $'5
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Sport Joke
Why do artists never win when they play football ? They keep drawing !
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Dumb Joke
Difference Between A Computer And A Woman:A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
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Farmer Joke
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
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Computer Joke
When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that, probably, the printer only needed to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, 'Does your boss know that you discourage business?' 'Actually it's my boss's idea,' the employee replied sheepishly. 'We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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