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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of obama election jokes and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
First cave man to 2nd cave man: 'I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows. '
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Poker and Gambling Joke
Buckshot was a compulsive gambler, and would bet on anything and everything; horses, dogs, football, baseball, basketball, snooker and even soccer games. When Buckshot was down to his last dollar, he went to his best friend and said 'Roy, I need $1000, we have no food, I owe rent, the kids need jeans for school, and the wife won’t leave the house because we have bad checks at all the stores. Can you help me out?' So his best buddy gave him $2000 to get him ahead, but on one condition, that he does not use the money for gambling. Buckshot’s reply was 'Oh, I have money put away for that. '
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Joke Online
For two cents, I`d give you a piece of my mind -- and all of yours. You are the only person I've ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time! You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed so he had you thrown out of his office. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was. You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since. You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening. I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
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Travel and tourist Joke
Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase? Driver: I love to travel.
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Easy to Remember Joke
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, 'This man, ' he announced, 'called in sick yesterday!'There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. 'Wow, ' he said. 'Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!'
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Witch Joke
Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg? She kept trying to poach her ideas.
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Money Joke
Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !
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Dog Joke - 2
What dogs never get lost?
Newfound-lands!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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