|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of nuts magazine jokes and other funny jokes |
|
Kids Puns
The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
= = = = = = = = = =
Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?
= = = = = = = = = =
Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Carrie ! Carrie who ? Carrie a torch !
= = = = = = = = = =
Ethnic Joke - 2
There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and did'nt want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free. The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and did'nt want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free. Next it was the Newfoundlanders turn to pick how he was to be executed. He said 'I'm a fraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me'.
= = = = = = = = = =
Silliest Joke
There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted. The first guy said ' I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter. The second guy said 'I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter. The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said 'God, make me better than both of them, make me '1
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Kids
A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. 'But why?' asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, 'Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant. 'The wife said, 'Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay. 'She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well. After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual. In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She worked for a week or two, but then said, 'I am definitely leaving this time. ''Don't tell me you're pregnant again?' asked the lady of the house. 'No, ' she said, 'there are just too many kids here to pick up after!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Old People Joke
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again. ' To which the gentleman said, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Children Joke
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ? he sobbed. 'In a way they do, ' said his mother. ' And when they die do the turn back to dust ?'. 'Yes, they do. ' The little boy began to cry again. ' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going !'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
