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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of nick jr fun and games and other funny jokes |
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Silliest Joke
Three Americans died overseas in the war. The General of the three was sent to each of the houses to inform their spouses. He went to the first man's house and told the man's wife of the tragic news. She cried for a moment and the General asked her what she wanted to do with his body. 'Well, 'she said, 'he loved to fish so I would like to have his body creamated and his ashes spread over the lake so he can be forever with his fish. 'And it was done. The General went and informed the second man's wife. She too cried and was then asked what was to be done with his body? 'She said, 'Well, he loved to hunt, so I think it would be great if we could have him creamated and have his ashes scattered over the forrests so he can be forever with the creatures that he loved so much. 'The third man was gay. The General was a little hesitant but proceeded in telling the man's husband the bad news. The man cried and screamed for well over an hour and then finally calmed down enough to hear the General's question. 'What would you like to do with his body?'The gay man reesponded, 'Well, my husband was a good man, but he was not very outgoing. He didn't like to do anything outside the house. He was the best lover I ever had. He was amazing in bed. He loved my chili too. I loved him so much. Well, the only logical thing to do is to have his body cremated, make some chili for dinner, throw his ashes in, and let him burn my ass up one more time!'
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Face Joke
Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.
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Time Joke
What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver? Time to get a new watchdog.
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Ghost Joke
When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.
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Computer Joke
Why can't Computer Scientists tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 OCT. = 25 DEC.
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Sports Humor
The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching. 'What club should I use now?' he asked the pro. 'I don't know, ' the pro replied. 'What game are you playing?'
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Funny College Joke
A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, 'Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?' 'Uhh, oh yeah, okay, ' responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, her husband asked, 'Well how much did you give the boy his time?' She said, 'Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him. ' 'That's $1020!' yelled her husband. Are you crazy?' 'Don't worry, Hon, ' she said. 'I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!'
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Situations Humor
Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy. 'Paddy, ' says Murphy, 'I've got a problem. ''What's the matter?' replies Paddy'Oi've bought a jigsaw and it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any edges. ''What's the picture of?' asks Paddy'It's of a big cockerel, ' Murphy replies. Paddy says, 'Alroight, Murphy, Oi'll come over and have a look. 'He gets to Murphy's house and Murphy opens the door. 'Oh thanks for coming Paddy. ' He leads Paddy into the kitchen and shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, 'For God's sake Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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