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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new york comedy and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
A horny young man went to a brothel. . . The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, 'On the first floor, we have the ex-models. . . they are all slinky and sexy. . . On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses. . . they are all buxom and beautiful. . . On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers. . . . they. . . 'Man, 'Say no more! Lead me to the third floor. 'Madam, 'Are you sure. . . I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses. 'Man, 'It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it. '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
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Irish Joke
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, 'Johnson, the pole vault, ' and was admitted. The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, 'McTavish, the hammer. ' He was also admitted. The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, 'O'Sullivan, fencing. '
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Elderly People Joke
An elderly couple, living apart, had been datingfor several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy, 'We should stop this nonsense. We are paying tworents, two car insurance payments, buying separatefood and cooking separate meals. We should justmove in together. Betsy: Whose house would we live in? Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for. Betsy: Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on? Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine. Betsy: Who would do the cooking? Elmer: You cook and I'll do the dishes. Betsy: What about sex? Elmer: Infrequently. Betsy: Is that one word or two?
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Computer Joke
Q: What's another name for the 'Intel Inside' sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label.
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Spoof Joke
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!
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Law Joke
The National Institute of Health announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged, and filed suit, but the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.
1) The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.
2) Lawyers breed faster.
3) Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.
4) There are some things even a rat won't do.
However, sometimes it very hard to exterpolate our test results to human beings.
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Internet Joke
How do you make rude noises on the Internet? With a whoop e-cushion.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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