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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new year sms jokes and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 1
The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. ' 'What is it, child?' The girl said, 'Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am. ' The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, 'My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. '
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Redneck Joke
Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police department.
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Dirty Joke
Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
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Office Humor
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, 'Hey lady, you are really ugly. ' Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, 'Hey lady, you are really ugly. ' Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, 'Hey lady, you are really ugly. ' The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, 'That's not good. ' and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, 'Hey lady. ' She paused and said, 'Yes?' and the bird said, 'You know. '
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American Joke
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
'Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever
happens, just pull the plug. '
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
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Bird Joke
How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday ? Eat him on Saturday !
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Dumb Blonde Joke
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
'I can't take this, you're my friend. '
But the blonde insisted saying,
'No. A bet's a bet. '
Then the redhead said
'Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money. '
The blonde replied
'Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!'
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing? A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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