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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new hindi jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke - 1
One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, 'Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us. 'After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. 'Let's call the boys Towards and Away, ' suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, 'Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea. ' They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the grieving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. 'My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?' she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story:'We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again. ''Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been! What a horrible fish. What a horrible fish. ''Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away. . . . '
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Banana Joke
The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
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Spiked Humor
Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid offers Barney, 'let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day. ' Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. 'Help me find my ball, you look over there, ' he says to Sid. After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. 'I've found my ball!' he announces triumphantly. Sid looks at him forlornly, 'After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?!?''What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!''And a liar, too!!!' Sid says with amazement. 'I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beirut ! Beirut who ? Beirut force !
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Love and Marriage Joke
The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee. The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been so 'matter-of-fact' about the whole thing all during the trial. 'Mrs. Roth, ' he began, 'was there any point that morning where you felt pity for your husband ?' 'Well. . . yeah. . . I guess. . . ' she replied. 'And when was that?' pressed the attorney. 'Well. . . , ' she replied, 'when he asked for his third cup. '
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Assorted Joke
While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students. As you can see, he says, the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, What would you do in a case like this? Well, ponders the student, I suppose Id limp, too.
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Satire Joke
Q: What is Monica's favorite chinese food?A: Cream of sum young guy.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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