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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new funny movies and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job. 'Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day, ' the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat. 'Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?' asked the foreman. '6' she replied. 'What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tomorrow!' So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. 'How many this time?' asked the foreman. '12' she said. The foreman says, 'That does it. I'm coming out there with you tomorrow morning!' The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, 'This is how to cut down trees really quickly. ' He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUUUMMM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically, so he asks her what's wrong. And she replies, 'What the hell is that noise?'
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History Joke
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
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Car and train Joke
What do you call a pig Who's been arrested for dangerous driving ? A road hog !
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Dumb Men Joke
Why did God create a man before a women? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
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Dirty Joke
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, 'Mom, what's sex?' His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, 'Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?'
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Redneck Joke
Q. What's the definition of a lesbian? A. A woman doing a man's job better again!
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Cow Joke
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
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Best Joke Online
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, 'That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names. 'Morris hung his head and whispered - 'To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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