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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new funny films and other funny jokes |
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Car and train Joke
What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you.
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Gender Joke
HIS and HERS Road Trip HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls down window just to get fresh airPulls up to a 7 -11 Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway. Gets back into car. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was. Almost hits a deer Curses the night Curses you Curses the large slurpee Drives and fiddles with radio. Yells at you for suggesting the map again Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway. He hates your sister. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel He had to look up pernicious. Couldn't find a dictionary. Finally found a dictionary Couldn't spell pernicious. Seethes at the memory of it all But she is laughing inside. . . And of course you're still lost.
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Frog Joke
How do frogs die ? They kermit suidide !
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Medical Joke
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doctor, you've got todo something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!' 'I wouldn't worry too much about it, ' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass. ' 'But you don't understand, ' the woman insists. 'He sleepswith his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake. '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?A: Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.
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Spiked Humor
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. At my University's Student center Bathrooms: 'If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police. ' In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey 'Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance. ' Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: 'Rest Area Next Right' - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery. A sign in the local opportunity shop says, 'If your going to steal, then smile for the camera. ' While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a ign that read 'Will work for food. ' If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a bove him read 'Now hiring. ' At an office: 'This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have recieved raises, bonses and promotions. ' SEEN ON A BILLBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY: 'Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education. '
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Funny Kids Joke
What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he realised that she hasn't wearing any clothes?
It made him shy.
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Funny Famous Joke
Another blonde, another store. . . She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk:'I need to buy some deodorant for my husband. ''Does he use the ball kind?' inquired the clerk. 'No, ' replied the blonde, 'The kind for under his arms. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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