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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of new comedy shows and other funny jokes |
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Snake Joke
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !
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Easy to Remember Joke
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was:'Don't. ' 'Don't what?' Adam replied. 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit. ' God said. 'Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve. . . we got Forbidden Fruit!' 'No way!' 'Yes, WAY!''Don't eat that fruit!' said God. 'Why?' 'Because I'm your Father and I said so!' said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. 'Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?' the First Parent asked. 'Uh huh, ' Adam replied. 'Then why did you?' 'I dunno, ' Eve answered. 'She started it!' Adam said. 'Did not!' 'DID so!' 'DID NOT!'Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
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Kids Puns
What do men have difficulty retaining?a) a job b) a budget c) a promise d) a secret e) a friendship f) amarriage g) an anniversary date h) a 30-minute erection i) all ofthe above
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
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Bus Joke
Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!
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Clinton Joke
Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
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Pig Joke
Why can't there be a Santa Pig? Pigs don't fit in chimneys.
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Car and train Joke
A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night. The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, 'Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!' The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a 'little tap' could scare him so much. The driver, after gathering himself together replied, 'Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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