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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of naughty xmas jokes and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?
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Humor Joke
Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.
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Joke for Speeches
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over. As the policeman got out he heard the lawyer shouting, 'my mercedes, my brand new mercedes!' As the policeman approached he was shocked to notice the lawyer's right arm missing. 'Do you realize your arm is gone?' asked the policeman?The lawyer, stunned, began to scream, 'My rolex, my brand new rolex!'
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American Joke
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. 'Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,'the guide said. 'Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow. '
'We can't be here tomorrow,' the nasty woman shouted. 'We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone. '
'Well now,' the guide said, 'it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune. '
'And I suppose you've kissed the stone?' the woman scoffed.
'No, ma'am,' the frustrated guide said, 'but I've sat on it. '
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
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Animal World
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. 'Listen, ' he says to the bartender. 'If i show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is my beer on the house?' 'We'll See, ' says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play. 'Impressive, ' says the bartender, 'but i'll need to see more. ' 'Hold on, ' says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings 'Old Man River. ' A patron jups up from mhis table and shouts 'Thats's Absolutely incredible! I'll give you $100 right now for the frog. ' 'Sold, ' says the guy. The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves. 'It's none of my business, ' says the bartender, 'but you just gave away a fortune. ' 'Not really, ' says the guy. 'The hamster is also a ventriloquist. '
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Humor Joke
How many architects does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task.
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mamma is so fat, she went in the elevator, and when she pressed up, it went down.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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