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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of multimedia jokes and other funny jokes |
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Medical Joke
An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lotsof friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes!The guest, asked him why he laughed, and after some minutes of laughing and whipping his eyes, the doctor said:'I'm just thinking of my buddy who will be 50 next week, who is a gynecologist!'
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Face Joke
How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.
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Fishing Joke
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, 'That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting. '
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Situation Joke
Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick's Day Parade, when one of them drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress that's been left out on the sidewalk. The mattress starts to smoulder just as the blue-hair brigade, the Ladies' Auxiliary, is passing by. Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and says, 'Man. . . ou think maybe they're marching these ladies too fast?'
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Cat Joke
Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
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Rabbit Joke
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
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Rabbit Joke
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
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Old People Joke
OLD KIDS never die, they just grow upOLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coilsOLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherentOLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appealOLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefsOLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal ErrorsOLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check outOLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelvedOLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their referencesOLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink outOLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go underOLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structuresOLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappearOLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float awayOLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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