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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of msgshit weird text and other funny jokes |
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Love and Marriage Joke
Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me? she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. 'I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again. '
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Easy to Remember Joke
There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that ight that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free. The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free. Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, 'I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging. '
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Computer Joke
A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. 'I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?' 'It's $'50
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Business Joke
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, 'Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated. ''And what, ' his friend asked, 'do you want me to do with your ashes?'The businessman said, 'Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything. '
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At Work Joke
Long, but really funny. . . from a Company in USA. DATE: October '01
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Funny Kids Joke
Why didn't the ghost go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.
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Funny Famous Joke
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died. ' 'Well, just return my money to me, ' Kenny said. 'Sorry, can't do that, ' said the farmer. 'I already spent it. ' 'OK then, just unload the donkey, ' said Kenny. 'Whatcha gonna do with him?' asked the farmer. 'I'm going to raffle him off, ' Kenny replied. 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' the farmer exclaimed. 'Of course I can, ' replied Kenny. 'Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead. ' A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, 'So, what happened with the dead donkey?' 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898. '00
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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