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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of mr strange and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis. Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth. The girl was startled and exclaimed, 'What was that?'Suddenly, the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared. The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, 'I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw. . . Can you do that again?'With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, 'Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!'
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College Humor
It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?''She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. 'Patrick Henry, '1775
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Marriage Joke
At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: 'Your Honor, I wish to change my plea. ' Judge: 'Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?' Defendant: 'No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn't know there would be women on the jury. Since I can't even fool my wife, I'll never be able to fool the four women jurors. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!
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Political Joke
Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. 'I'm not voting for any of the candidates, ' the first man said. 'I don't know any of them. ' 'I feel the same way, ' the second man said. 'Only I know them all. '
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Monster Joke
Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around.
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Village Idiot Joke
A man came home a day early from a business trip and discovered his wife in the midst of passionate lovemaking with a total stranger in their bedroom. He demandingly asked, 'What on earth are you doing?!?!!'The wife turned to the other man and replied, 'See, I told you he was as dumb as a post. '
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Spiked Humor
Sighting #1:I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, 'sure. ' The next thing I hear is, 'Hey, where do you put the coffee?' I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water. Sighting #2:I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' I said, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled and nodded knowingly, 'That's why we ask. 'Sighting #3:The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when he asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. He responded, appalled, 'What on earth are blind people doing DRIVING???'Sighting #4:At a goodbye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing, ' our manager spoke up and said, 'This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often. ' Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck. Sighting #5:I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his system would not turn on. Sighting #6 (a rare 'double sighting'):A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they'd take up less room. When he told me I was with another friend. She thought it was a good idea too. Sighting #7 (from Tech Support):Tech Support: 'How much free space do you have on your hard drive?'Individual: 'Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?'Sighting #8 (from Tech Support):Individual: Now what do I do?Tech Support: What is the prompt on the screen?Individual: It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name. 'Tech Support: Okay, so type in your last name. Individual: How do you spell that?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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