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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of mr nonsense and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 2
What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?
Labs!
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Totally Strange Humor
Knock Knock Who's there? Ida Ida who? Ida know.
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Bar Joke - 2
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
'What's the matter?' the bartender asks.
'My wife and I got into a fight,' explained the guy 'and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days. '
The bartender thought about this for a while. 'But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?' asked the bartender.
'Yeah, except today is the last night. '
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Judge Joke
How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.
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Spiked Humor
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Crash Test Barbie . . . comes with car and brick wall
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Cannibal Joke
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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Village Idiot Joke
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out. One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance. The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter. 'What the %$*& is so funny?' asked one of the scientist. 'You should have seen the monkey's face trying to get the cork back in!!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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