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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of monogram jokes and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
A man was summoned to court for punching his lawyer. During the process, the Judge asked him to explain his actions. 'Your Honor, ' replied the defendant, 'that man represented me in a bitter divorce. One day he said my property settlement hearing was about to be held. The judge would decide that afternoon what I would get, and what Rose would get. My lawyer told me I didn't have to be present and 'not to worry. ''I can't see why you'd punch a man for that, ' interrupted the judge. 'Wait, there's more. . . When I asked my attorney later about the settlement, he told me to look on the bright side. I asked why. Then he said, 'Because everything's coming up Rose's. ''THAT'S when I hit him!'
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Village Idiot Joke
Guy-Knock, KnockGirl-Who's there?Guy-EmersomGirl-Emersom who?Guy-Emersom nice boobs ya got there!
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Salesmen Joke
A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff and said, 'My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother ?'
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Dinosaur Joke
Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus.
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Mad Joke
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - 'This is the WORST book I've ever read!' 'It has NO plot and far too many characters!'The librarian looks up and calmly remarks -'So, you're the one who took our phone book. . . '
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Funny College Joke
Yo mama's like. . . - Yo mama's like a T. V. , even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle. . . four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine. . . five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food. . . sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King. . . Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven. . . open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's like a '747
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Religious Joke
Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. 'I'm sorry, sister, ' said the attendant, 'but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car. As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, 'Oh sister, if only I had your faith. '
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Car and train Joke
You know all that talk about backseat driving? Well, I've been driving all my life and can safely say that I've never heard a word from the back seat. What kind of car do you drive? A hearse!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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