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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of mobile phone text jokes and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
A man goes to visit the grave of his mother, puts a beautiful bouquet at the headstone and gets up, to leave when he notices another man crying his heart out, lying on one of the graves in such a way, that he breaks the other man's heart. The sobbing goes on and on and he hears the other say:- Oh why? Why did you have to die!? Why did you go?And then he breaks down sobbing again, hitting his head over the headstone, still crying:-Oh why did you die!? Why did you go so soon?Intringued, the other guy goes to him and says:I'm so sorry for your loss, is there anything I can do for you?Who is the person you are crying over so desperately, he asks, in compassion?That's my wife's third husband, comes the reply, between sobs. I'm number four. . . . .
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Funny Joke
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas 10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows) 9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (campinggear, flashlights) 8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores 7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'specials' 6. Family coming to stay with you 5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling 4. Buying food you don't normally buy . . . and in large quantities 3. Days off from work 2. Candles And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas . . . 1. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita to borrow a glass of milk.
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Military Joke
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms. '
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Humor Joke
21 Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex1. Cover your stump before you hump2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker3. Don't be silly, protect your willy4. When in doubt, shroud your spout5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it8. If you think she's spunky cover your money9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick12. If you're going into heat, package your meat13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member16. Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool18. The right selection will protect your erection19. Wrap it in oil before checking her oil20. A crank with armor will never harm her21. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!
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Naughty Joke
A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically. . . so he asked his dad. His dad said, 'Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $'1
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Christmas Joke - 1
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ? Stacks !
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Men Joke
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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