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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of mens funny slippers and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ? A sheep that can round itself up !
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Joke for Speeches
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
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Dog Joke - 1
I bought a dog the other day. . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
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Joke for Speeches
This couple out on a date get a flat tire while driving along on a snowy night. They guy gets out to change the tire, but he doesn't have any gloves so before long he gets back in the car with the job half-done, his hands blue from the cold. 'Put your hands between my legs to warm them up, ' offers his gal. So he does, then gets out to finish the job. It's so cold, however, that he has to come back one more time to warm his hands, again between her legs. Finally, he finishes the job and gets back into the car, and is about to put the keys into the ignition when she asks, 'Aren't your ears cold too?'
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Mad Joke
What did the Buddhist ask the pizza maker? 'Make me one with everything. '
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Bar Joke - 1
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
'You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!'
Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
'How do you know this, Sister?'
'My Mother Superior told me so. '
'But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?'
'Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself'
'Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life'
'How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!'
'I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know. '
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.
'Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks', then he lowers his voice and says to the barman 'and could you put the vodka in a teacup?'
'Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?'
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Bible Joke
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, 'Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?' 'I think so, ' the man replied. 'My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests. ' 'I don't mean that, ' the priest responded. 'I mean, are you prepared spiritually?' 'Oh, sure, ' came the reply. 'I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey. '
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Pig Joke
What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York? Pigpockets.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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