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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of melbourne comedy festival 2008 and other funny jokes |
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Animal Joke
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. 'No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes, ' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. 'Here, ' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. 'I found them in the hallway. ' 'Now, ' she said, 'if only I could find my parakeet. '
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Very Silly Joke
An angel wrote:Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest. He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ? Army Ants coming for tea then ?
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Funny Kids Joke
What is life like for a wood worm?Boring!
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Dumb Men Joke
The way to a man's heart is through his feet(but you need a long knife).
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Animal World
How do you get four elephants into a Mini?Two in the front, two in the back.
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Redneck Joke
Question: Where do you see blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde. . . Answer: A naked blonde doing cartwheels!
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Time Joke
What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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