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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of mc jokes and other funny jokes |
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Free Adult Joke
Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator. Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks. Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks. Vacancy on the top floor. Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting. Vertically-fornicated mind. Views mold as a higher life form. Warranty expired. Was born an acrobat but landed on his head. Was born when the planets were misaligned. Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking nuts. Wasn't abused as a child, but should have been. Wasn't strapped in during launch. Watches 'Beavis and Butthead' to learn vocabulary. Watching programs not listed in TV Guide. We're all missing cards from our decks -- and different cards, too. Went in for repairs but wasn't tightened with a torque wrench. Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled. When he was compiled they forgot to #include [smarts. h]/[iq. h]/[charm. h]. When they handed out brains he got the short end of the stick. When they said 'drain', he thought they said 'brain'. Whole lotta choppin
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Religious Joke
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. 'Father!' she cried, 'just WAIT until you hear this!' The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, ' Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?' 'Well, father' the nun began, 'I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!' 'A serious infraction, indeed!' said the priest. 'But That's not what has me so excited, father' replied the nun, 'it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!' 'What an incredible wager!' exclaimed the priest, 'What did you do?' 'Well, I hit the CEILING, father. ' 'How much did you win?'
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Dirty Joke
Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur? Answer: Mega-sore-ass.
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Dumb People Joke
Cover Charge: $15. 00Round of Drinks: $23. 00Table Dance: $30. 00Another Round of Drinks: $23. 00Couch Dance and Tips: $50. 00A Round of Shots: $34. 00Another Round of Drinks: $23. 00Lap Dance and Hand Job: $100. 00Private Dance and Hotel Room: $500. 00Sending her on her way without having to cuddle or listen to her:. . . . . . . . . . . PRICELESS!
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Dumb People Joke
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August '1
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Political Joke
Are you a member of any organized political party? 'No. I'm a Republican. '
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Fun Funny Joke
A man is talking to the family doctor. 'Doc, I think my wife's going deaf. ' The doctor answers, 'Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is. 'The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her. Finally, she answers, 'For the eleventh time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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