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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of maidenhead musical comedy society and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
Whats a frogs favorite game?It's croak-et!
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Joke of the Day
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
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Naughty Joke
Through the kitchen window a farmer's wife sees herson coming home from school. The boy's in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks alittle further and kicks a cow. Once inside, hismother says, 'I saw what you did, young man! Forkicking the pig you'll get no bacon for a week, andfor kicking the cow, no milk for a week. 'Just at that moment, the boy's father walks throughthe door and boots the cat halfway across the room. The boy looks at his mother and says, 'Do you wannatell him, or should I ?'
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Stand Up Joke
A guy enters a drugstore and lights up a cigar. The owner, a bit outraged, says 'Sir, please refrain from smoking here, it is a public place. . 'A bit bewildered, the guy answers 'But it is only yesterday I bought those cigars here. 'The owner quietly replies : 'Irrelevant, sir, we also sell condoms here!'
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Romance Joke
Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they make love in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, she flipped on her reading lamp one passionate night -- only to find a cucumber in his hand. 'Is THIS', she asked, pointing to the vegetable, 'what you've been using on me for the last 5 years?' 'Honey, let me explain. . . ' 'Why, you sneaky bastard!' she screamed. 'You impotent son of a -' 'Speaking of sneaky, ' her husband coolly interjected, 'maybe you'd like to explain our three kids. '
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Ghost Joke
Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring. . . Wedding ring. . . Suffering!!!
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Children Joke
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in themiddle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in thedelivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lanternand said, 'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing. 'Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there Scotty!' said the doctor. 'Don't be in a rush to put thelantern down. . . I think there's yet another wee one to come. 'Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass. 'No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad. . . It seems there's yet another one besides!' cried the doctor. The Scot scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. 'Doye think it's the light that's attractin' them?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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