|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of maha comedy and other funny jokes |
|
Sport Joke
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. 'Very well, ' said the gatekeeper of Heaven. 'But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches. ''I know, and that's all right, ' Satan answered unperturbed. 'We've got all the umpires. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Idiot and fool Joke
My friend is so stupid he thinks that an autograph is a chart showing sales figures for cars.
= = = = = = = = = =
Romance Joke
The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, 'Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see. ' A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: 'And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?' The groom wiped his brow and said, 'Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Fishing Joke
Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!
= = = = = = = = = =
Job and Office Joke
Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies: As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation ) What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping) How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team) E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr. , Electric Boat Company) This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr. , UPS) Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing/3M Corp. ) My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers) Quote from the boss: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what 'I' say. ' (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation) My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, 'That would be better for me. ' (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists) We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Lone Lines Division) We recently received a memo from senior management saying, This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above. ' (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division) One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, 'If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!' (New Business Mgr. , Hallmark Cards) As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the 'pedagogical approach' used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR Director's office, and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for 'perverts' (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word 'pedagogical' circled in red. The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
= = = = = = = = = =
Accountant Joke
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9. 18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 seconds, no wait. . . . . .
= = = = = = = = = =
Firefighter Joke
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. 'Pull the pin like a hand grenade, ' he explained, 'then depress the trigger to release the foam. ' Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, 'Like a hand grenade, remember?' In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
= = = = = = = = = =
Naughty Joke
One day there were 10 would-be Catholic priests, going through the tests that would make them ministers. The final test required them to all strip butt-naked and standin a row with little bells attached to their ding-dongs, facing a beautiful naked woman. Well, lo and behold one of the bells went off, but when it did, it fell to the ground. As soon as its owner bent over to pick it up, all the 9 remaining bells sounded at once. Yup. Nine more ordained priests added to the Catholic Church.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
