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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of lottery jokes and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
Did you know that once you get married, you can look forward to three different kinds of sex? First, there's House Sex: That's when you make love all over the house: on the floor, on the kitchen table, in the garage, anywhere, anytime -- much like two crazed rabbits. Then comes Bedroom Sex: That's when the kids are finally fed, bathed and asleep; the curtains closed; nothing much on TV; and the door locked -- you make love in the bedroom. Last comes Hall Sex: That's when you pass each other in the hall and snarl -- 'Screw You !'
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Salesmen Joke
A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager. The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, 'Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who ? Balloon velvet !
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Idiot and fool Joke
I can't understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed it.
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Strange Humor
President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. 'Who goes there?' inquired St. Peter. 'It's me, Bill Clinton'. 'What bad things did you do on earth?' Clinton thought a bit and answered, 'Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury. ' After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, 'OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell. ' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity. ' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over. '
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Joke Online
If the NSA made toasters. . . Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only theNSA could access in case they needed to get at your toastfor reasons of national security.
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Horse Joke
A man was walking down the road leading a horse and saw his mate. His mate said to him what are you going to do with that, the 1st man replied 'race it' the 2nd man then said well by the looks of it you will win!.
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Miscellaneous Joke
3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was. The first said, 'The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone. 'The second shook his head and said 'Nah, hippo may be mean, but ain't nothing meaner than an alligator. He got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap ?, one bite, ha, one swallow, you gone. 'The third gentleman sat for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, ' No sir, the meanest aninmal in the world is a hippagator. 'The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal. The gentleman slowly began to explain, ' A hippagator got a hippo head on one end, and an 'gator head on the other''WAIT ! interrupted the others, 'If he has a head on both ends, How does he shit ?'The reply was simply, ' He don't, that's what makes him so mean'.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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